The Journal: 22 May 2017

This is a new series comprised of past journal entries I wrote followed by some current thoughts about it, if I have any. The reason for sharing a particular entry will vary. Some may be recorded story ideas, interesting events from my past, or some weird or fun thought I had that I wrote down.

There is an extent to which the way you write tells the world a little something about how you read. I, for example, write very much as though the events are happening and I’m recording them as they do — almost like writing a book based on a movie, only better. The words are meant to be very visual, the reader should see in their mind the events as they unfold, watch as the characters move around, listen as they speak. It’s almost as though Mystical Warriors was meant to be a movie script but I wrote it in plain prose.


I think this was inspired at least partially by my friends telling me the opening scene for my novel-in-progress felt very much like a movie scene.

Eight Months, a Year

Today marks eight months since my boyfriend and I started dating and we’ve known each other for a year. For that reason, here are a couple poems I wrote for him/us in that time.

The last poem, “A Reason to Live and to Love” contains mention of suicidal thoughts.

“I Regret Not Being Rich”

25 July 2018

If I didn’t need money

I wouldn’t have said

That I would work today

But as it is

I do and wish

That wasn’t true

Because I would

Still be with my boyfriend

Instead of walking

For four hours straight

 

“Love Like Fantasy”

7 May 2018

It doesn’t feel real,

it’s too good to be true.

No way is this real life,

you’re too good to be mine.

How did I find you

and get so lucky

for us both to have

fallen so hard in love?

There’s no escape

nor do I wish to find one.

I’m still reveling

in the day to day

the realization that it’s real,

You love me,

I love you.

I’m yours and you’re mine.

But how?

It’s like in the storybooks,

the prince finds the princess

and they fall in love

and seem so perfect for each other.

A match made in heaven.

We fit together so well

and agree on so much,

it’s very much like

we were destined to be!

Adn the crazy coincidence

that led to us meeting at all.

I can’t help but feel

Ours is a love like fantasy

but I’m so glad it’s real.

 

“A Reason to Live and to Love”

10 February 2018

You warm my soul;

I thought I was dead inside

But you bring me back to life.

I was aching and dying

If not already dead

But you brought in a focus that was lighter instead.

The dark night of searching for reasons to live,

You’re on my list of deeply caring friends.

I have so many problems with no solutions in sight

But with you,

More things seem at least alright.