Today’s Poems

I’m back! It’s been a very long time since I wrote a blog post. For those of you who are returning to my website, you may notice that I have a new url and my name has changed. I’m trans, my name is Alex. I plan on writing about that because I think it’s important for me to do that for myself.

Right now, though, you’re here to read poetry. So on with it!


Adulting Sucks

It’s been almost four weeks
and I still feel like I’m dreaming,
disconnected from what’s happening.
But at the same time
it feels too real,
Reality’s cold, sharp nails
digging into my skin
making me long for
the childlike carefree nature
I doubt I ever had.
Adulting sucks
but I control my own destiny
far moreso than ever before.

Disassociating

I’ve been swimming
these past three weeks,
nearly drowning in disassociation
and gulping and gasping for breath
just before I’d have drowned,
my body floating up
lifeless and blue
forever separated from my soul.
Who am I?
Am I me?
Is this happening to me?
That is my body, isn’t it?
But where am I?
Three weeks I’ve nearly drowned,
lost from my own life,
disconnected from my own experiences.

“Rock Climbing” (Poem)

A short narrative poem by Alyssa Wright about someone practicing rock climbing.

A glance up,
A glance down inverts my stomach.
First the right hand, then the left.
Now the right foot, now the left.
On and on and on,
Up and up and up
I go, looking down no more.
The bell! Yes, the bell!
Ring, ring, ring!
Triumphantly, I rappel down the side
of the rock climbing wall.

“Songbird’s Haunting Death Song” (Poem)

A short narrative poem by Alyssa Wright about a songbird who sings of Death, Nightmare, and Danger.

The Songbird sang her sonnet,
A darkly melodious tune, tinted
by ominous and haunting swoons.
Soon she’s found herself an audience,
drawn by her curious tune:
He draws nigh,
He comes close
In the night,
Coming by to
Bear you home.
It is of Death she does so speak,
though Death’s duration she cannot leak.
Her sonnet moves on with her enraptured watchers,
Singing first again of Death then moving
To hauntingly mention Nightmare.
Then darkening her tone with the twilight,
her melody moans of Danger’s lurking near.
Enraptured becomes terrified and gone-all are the listeners,
just as Songbird finishes her last moon.

“At the Beach” (Poem)

A fine, gritty powder
beneath my feet,
A cool, wet, salty foam
lapping at my ankles,
A wetting yet thirsty spray
breathed into my mouth and nose,
A rhythmic whoosh, impatient yet calm
echoing through my ears,
A bright yellow light and soft green-blue
colored in my mind by my eyes.

“Sleepless Night” (Poem)

I would like to go back to bed,
As early as it is,
for last night
I didn’t sleep
at all,
Not even a wink,
as the cliche goes.
It wasn’t even insomnia,
per se, just discomfort.
I tried to sleep,
I really did.
But I tossed and turned,
Longing for the comfort
of my own bed
and later lamenting
the lack of a door and walls
Around the couch
To block out the noise
from my brothers in the kitchen.

“[Headache] Nature’s Torture” (Poem)

Tonight at work I got a migraine, likely from stress. The drive thru was short one person for a good portion of the night and we were busy. I pushed through, not just finishing my shift, but doing the best I could despite the pain.

For that reason, I decided to share a poem I wrote that captures my experience with migraines. It was originally written in March 2016 but it fits tonight very well.


My head’s almost dead,
Throbbing and crying out
in pain with every
movement that I make.

When, oh when
will this torture
cease? When will
life return to the
now-ruptured peace?

The painkiller was
ineffective, inert,
as I expected ‘twould be,
The waves of pain and pressure
steadily increasing.

The torture won’t stop,
it’s hooves continue to clop,
clop, clop, moving onwards yet
nowhere but circles in my
brain, nearly driving me
insane with the increasing pain,
discomfort, and pressure.

How much longer can I handle
this Headache without breaking down?